Lose Yourself to Find Yourself
Isn't it funny you usually want what you don't have. When we are younger, we can't wait to grow up - to drive, have our own rules, or stay up late. We want to be taller, we want straight hair, we want to be skinnier, we wish we didn't have glasses, or whatever the case may be - you get the picture. Sometimes it could be caused by something someone said to us, or it could be a wish we have for something about us we want to be different than what we have. Growing up we mature, or some of us do hopefully. In growing up, we can easily forget or lose ourselves in the rush of life.
I am sure some people are tired of me talking about my life circumstances, as we all have things and problems going on. I have at times felt the same way about hearing someone was talking about and thought why are they still talking about that.... well, we all have things that happen is life that cause a shift in us to occur. It could be a loss of a loved one, a divorce, health problems, infertility - I could go on. Overtime we can forget who we really are - our core. Yes, of course, we change overtime but are values, our little quirks that make us who we are... we shouldn't forget what makes us who we are. I have lost myself along the way of being in pain and trying to "find me again" or what my "new normal" was after heartbreak after heartbreak. Some of the heartbreak was my own doing - as I was an emotional mess after my divorce and no one really knows how to tell you how to deal with it. I did the best at the time and have learned alot about things I should have never allowed in my life because of being so hurt. I did not have great boundaries, nor did I know how to verbally stand up for myself.
Sometimes in life you meet people who help you in reminding you bits and pieces of yourself again. They don't judge you for your quirks, they stay with you when you feel like you are falling apart - and guess what they don't make you feel bad about it. I've realized about myself I tried to be a good friend, a good coworker, a good daughter, a good granddaughter, a good wife, and now a good mom.... sometimes we add so much on ourselves to "be" this perfect picture of whatever is expected instead of just BEING. I at times have not handled things the best, I have been emotional - that has caused people to not want to be around me. I have lost friends because of going to different jobs, divorce, life changes, distance, and many other things. It feels weird at times being in the phase of life I have been in - almost a rediscovery or reinvention of myself. Those that have been through divorce or other challenges that lead them their - maybe you understand what I mean.
I want to say I am sorry if I ever hurt or offended you in trying to survive behind the scenes. We all hear and know this - and I remind myself this all the time, that we do not know what people are going through. Some people are just trying to make it through the day, some just lost a loved one, someone just got a bad diagnosis, or someone may have just signed those ugly divorce papers. We all have something we are going through we do not talk about or do not know how to talk about it. I hope and pray we can be kinder to each other, patient in not understanding, and giving each other grace for being a broken human being trying to figure life out. We all make mistakes, we all have a past, we all are trying to hope for the best for our future while also healing from the past.
I heard Hannah Montana's 20th anniversary song, and it really made me think about my younger self. What would I tell my younger self if I could?
If you could tell your younger self something, what would it be and why? This song really made me think about that and what has happened since I was watching Hannah Montana as a kid.
One of Miley Cyrus's song I have always liked and actually forgot about until recently hearing is "The Climb". It's amazing how you hear a song and it hits you differently once you have felt the words and know it on a different level now. Her words in the song speak of "it's not about how fast I get there, it's not about what's waiting on the other side... it's the climb..." I don't know if you have ever been on that climb in life where you were struggling to hang on, but you feel like the winds keep hitting you in every direction that you feel that you are gripping on by your nails to stay ahold. Life does that sometimes. Going through the mountains, the rocky path can cause us to lose our footing and almost fall. Our life really is about "The Climb", as it is our life path and our journey to the next side. Wherever you are right now in your climb, I pray you keep going, hang on, and every now and then don't forget to pause and enjoy the view in the moment or it might pass you by. Don't rush your journey - as it is not about how fast you get there, it is about the ride and journey.
A prayer I leave with you today:
Lord, I pray for whoever is reading this and the journey they are currently on in their life. I pray you lead and guide them in the days ahead to be the person you have intended on them being. For them to love themselves and love others just as you do. I pray we all stay loving, kind, and patient with one another as life is difficult and we all need a helping hand to get through life. Thank you for your son, Jesus and His sacrificial love poured out for us. I pray the person reading this knows of your love and your forgiveness and that it is so powerful that nothing can change it. I pray whatever we all are struggling with we give it to you and trust and live our lives fully for you. You are so good to us, thank you for life and the breath in our lungs. Let us bring you honor and praise each and every day in how we live our lives. We love you.
Amen
God Bless you,
Lacey
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